In my practice and in life, I see an astonishing paradox every day…
Women who professionally save others—counselling crisis families, running social projects, supporting colleagues and loved ones—often turn out to be the most vulnerable when it comes to their own exhaustion.
I call this the “Blue Wall” effect: we build a strong fortress around ourselves for everyone seeking protection, but we remain behind that wall—without strength, without resources, without the right to show weakness.
Numbers That Should Stop Us
The phenomenon of professional burnout among women leaders and public figures has long ceased to be an individual story—it is a systemic epidemic. According to the McKinsey & Company and Lean In study “Women in the Workplace 2025,” 6 out of 10 women in leadership positions (60%) report that they have frequently experienced burnout in recent months—the highest figure in the past five years. For comparison, among male leaders, this indicator stands at 50%. Projections for 2026, based on current trends, suggest a possible rise to 65% among women leaders unless systemic support measures are implemented.
According to Russian studies from 2025, women overall face symptoms of emotional burnout more often than men: 61% vs. 54%.
In the civil society sector, the situation remains worrying: research confirms that women leaders of non-profit organisations are at increased risk. And this is not about “weakness”—it is about the systemic overloads that we, as women, have come to accept as normal.
Why We Burn Out Faster and Deeper
Emotional burnout in women has its own anatomy. We become exhausted not just from the volume of tasks—we become depleted on several levels simultaneously.
- Double and triple burden. Even in couples where both work full‑time, women spend 2‑3 times more hours on housework and childcare than men. This is the infamous “second shift”—unpaid, undervalued, and never‑ending.
- Invisible emotional labour. We remember who called from school, who needs a gift, whose mother was offended. We manage the emotions of the entire family—smoothing conflicts, supporting, comforting. And we do the same at work: coordinating, mediating, maintaining team morale. Research shows that women take on coordination, monitoring, and colleague support tasks that are critically important for daily work but are not always recognised or fairly distributed. According to surveys, women are significantly more likely than men to name burnout and mental health as their main concern: 35.9% vs. 27.5%.
- The “I’ll do it myself” syndrome. Hyper‑responsibility and the sincere belief that “if not me, then no one will cope,” a ban on negative emotions, ignoring signals from our own bodies—these are habitual patterns that have been eroding our resources for years.
The Oxygen Mask Rule
In psychology, there is a golden rule: it is impossible to care for others while being emotionally exhausted. The same is reminded to us on airplanes: “Put the mask on yourself first, then on your child.” But in real life, we do the opposite—first we save everyone around us, and then, if we have any strength left, we try to breathe ourselves.
Research confirms that a key protective factor against burnout is self‑compassion. Women with high levels of self‑compassion show significantly greater resilience to exhaustion. That is, the ability to treat ourselves with the same kindness and understanding with which we treat those we help.
Self‑Support Techniques: How Not to Burn Out in Service
Preventing burnout begins with acknowledging: I have the right to be tired, I have the right to take a pause, I have the right to ask for help. Then—by implementing specific practices.
- Allow yourself to be “imperfect.” Perfectionism destroys mental health. Lower the bar in everyday life and secondary tasks. The world will not collapse if dinner is ordered rather than cooked from scratch.
- Master the art of saying no. Saying “no” to others’ requests is an automatic “yes” to your own health and time.
- Take a mini‑holiday every day. Set aside at least 30 minutes each day exclusively for yourself. No phone, no chores, no work chats. This is not a luxury—it is a necessity.
- Practice the “stop signal.” When you feel emotions overflowing, pause. Take a deep breath, leave the room, change activities. Under stress, our brain switches from logic to instincts—a pause restores control.
- Keep a self‑gratitude journal. Every evening, write down three things you are grateful to yourself for today. This shifts the brain from problem‑seeking to noticing your own achievements.
- Review your environment. Minimise contact with people who criticise, devalue, or use you as an emotional crutch. Your emotional resource is too valuable.
- Learn to ask for and accept help. Delegation is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of mature leadership.
Dear colleagues, we are used to being a support for others. But the “Blue Wall” will not hold if its foundation is depleted. Self‑care is not selfishness. It is a professional necessity and a civic responsibility. Only by preserving our own resources can we continue to do what brought us to this profession: changing the world for the better. Start with yourself—and you will see how your ability to help others becomes not a feat, but a sustainable, joyful, and long‑term service.
Anna Zakaidze,
Director of the Department of Social Design and Crisis Intervention “International Women’s Union,”
Clincal Psychologist.